Purity Test

A Genuine, Homemade Purity Test!

Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes".
The "submit" button is at the bottom.

Personality:

You tell people to "RTFM."
You answer "yes" to either/or questions.
You neglect your virtual pets (including, but not limited to, Tamagotchi and the like).
You can fix virtually any computer problem.
...Except your own.
......Because they're errors you didn't think you were stupid enough to make (ie: unplugged, not turned on, etc).
You've lost sleep over a computer game.
...Over code.
......That you were writing for fun.
You've had a get-together/party where everyone ends up clustered around the computer.
...Where everyone ends up on an individual computer, networked.
You sleep better with the knowledge that your computer is on.
...Because you like the thought of checking your email at 4 AM.
...Because you sleep better with the fan whirring.

Hardware:

You have more than three gender changers/converters/connectors/etc hooking a perephrial to your computer.
You have a working 3.5" floppy drive.
...5.25" floppy drive.
...8" floppy drive.
...Tape drive.
...Zip drive.
...CD-ROM drive.
...CD burner.
...A/B box.
......You know how to use it.
You use your keyboard more often than your mouse.
You use a Dvorak, not a qwerty keyboard.
Your mouse has more than three buttons.
...You actually use the extras.
You don't screw your case down.
...Because you know you'll have to open it again as soon as you do.
You've used a computer that was disassembled at the time.
...That was mounted in a cardboard box.
You can remember the BIOS settings for one or more of your hard drives.
...Specifically, the one that broke several months ago.
......Because you dropped something on it while fixing a different problem.

Software:

Programming:

Net:

Troubleshooting:

On a Windows PC, you use DOS mode to fix stuff.
...You use Korn shell to fix stuff.
You can and do still work in an older version of DOS, or a non-Microsoft version (ie: DR-DOS)
You have an "emergency kit" ready to deal with software problems.
...In any OS.
...It's not five times as big.
You have an "emergency kit" ready to deal with hardware problems.
...For obsolete systems.
...You've had to use it.
In Windows 3.x, you loved to edit config.sys and autoexec.bat.
You use the Windows registry editor.
...Without causing more problems.
You chastize others when they don't take the "proper precautions," like wearing a wrist band to prevent static.
...You forgo them yourself because you "know more than they do."

System Administration:

You like the BOFH.
...You are the BOFH.
...You've fought with the BOFH.
......You've won.
Your system has gone down.
...You brought it down.
......To get some rest.
...You fixed it.
......Within a day.
You give your disks, daemons, and programs human names.
...Meaningless names.
You finger people to see if they're on.
...You w | grep [username] to see if they're on.
You have a user named "Ingres."
...Who logs on.
You've dealt with auditors.
...Who've been pissed at you.
......Because you lied.
......Because you let your programmer into the shell.
......Because you have no security.
.........Because your [l]users are to stupid to need it.
You've had to call in independent workers to install something (phone lines, etc).
...They didn't understand something integral to the job ("Run a 10 base T over here..." "What's a 10 base T?")

Zork:

Misc:

You've read the Hitchhikers' Trilogy.
...More than three times.
...You know that it contains more than three books.
You call your computer a "box."
You've printed on greenbar.
You have line printer art of the Mona Lisa/Statue of Liberty/Eiffel Tower/whatever.
You proofread this test for technical errors.
...For ideological errors.
You kept score by counting how many of these questions you DIDN'T mark.