Title For Your Purity Test

The Teenybopper Purity Test
Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes".
The "submit" button is at the bottom.

Most people use "teenybopper" to denote any teenager; I use it to denote a new culture that seems to have exploded in the recent years...I don't know exactly how to describe it, but you'll see what I'm getting at from the test...

The Movie

Have you seen "Titanic"?
Did you like it?
Have you ever referred to it as "The Movie"?
Did you watch it in theatre?
...more than once?
...in a week?
And did you cry?
...every time?
Is that how you found out the boat existed?
Do you believe it's an accurate historical account?
Do you think or have you ever thought that Jack and Rose were based on real people?
Do you think the romance part of the storyline is plausible?
Do you have a crush on Leonardo Dicaprio/Kate Winslet?
Do you own Titanic on video?
Have you watched it on TV/video more than 5 times?
...in a week?
...and not just to see Kate's breasts?
Have you ever been offended by a "The Boat Sank; Get Over It" T-Shirt?
Do you get mad at people for laughing when that guy whacks his head on the way off the boat?
...because you think he's real too?

The Music

Do you listen exclusively to radio stations that play "Only hit music"?
...by choice?
Did you realize Taylor Hanson was a boy BEFORE being told? (if someone told you about Hanson before you saw them, it's no)
Is every one of your favorite songs a song about some semblance of love by someone you find attractive?
Do you not care about the percussion and instrumentation in any of the songs you listen to?
...and therefore not care if, as far as your favorite music is concerned, it's all the same?
Do you know all of the words to any songs by "The Bands" (look below)?
Do you know, even vaguely, how the song Cest La Vie! goes?
...Do you NOT snicker when it gets to "I'll show you mine if you show me yours..."?
...Do you stay composed even when it reaches, "Play with the girls, play with the boys, dontcha ever get lonely playing with your toy?"

For the following bands, check all that apply.

Hanson

I like one of their songs.
I like every song by them I have ever heard.
I own all of their CDs.
I have a crush on one member.
...and know that he is male...
I have multiple posters of this group.
I can name every member (last names don't count)

N'Sync

I like at least one of their songs.
I like every song by them I have ever heard.
I own all of their CDs.
I have a crush on one or more members.
I have multiple posters of this group.
I can name every member.
...first AND last name...

The Backstreet Boys

I like at least one of their songs.
I like every song by them I have ever heard.
I own all of their CDs.
I have a crush on one or more members.
I have multiple posters of this group.
I can name every member.
...first AND last name...

98 Degrees

I like at least one of their songs.
I like every song by them I have ever heard.
I own all of their CDs.
I have a crush on one or more members.
I have multiple posters of this group.
I can name every member.
...first AND last name...

The Spice Girls

I like at least one of their songs.
I like every song by them I have ever heard.
I own all of their CDs.
I have a crush on one or more members.
I have multiple posters of this group.
I can name every member.
...and by their REAL names, not their nicknames...
...first AND last name...

B*witched

I think that asterisk replacing the "e" makes them any less lame.
I like at least one of their songs.
I like every song by them I have ever heard.
I own all of their CDs.
I have a crush on one or more members.
I have multiple posters of this group.
I can name every member.
...first AND last name...

The Literature

Is every novel you've ever read for fun based on a sitcom or about horses?
...if no, are the rest about Leonardo Dicaprio or an aforementioned band?
Do you consider supermarket tabloids to be "high-brow"?
Do you read (in the loosest sense of the word) ANY magazine with the words "Teen", "Bop", "Leonardo Dicaprio", and age, any band, or a female on every issue's cover looking at the camera (comic books and pornos don't count)
...do you starve yourself to look like the chicks in such magazines?
Do you think seventeen-year-olds actually read "Seventeen" magazine?
...is that why you read it?
Do you take those multiple choice "quizzes" and do whatever they say?
Do you also read your horoscope in said magazines?

The Apparel

Did you wear a two-piece swimsuit before adolescence? (males don't answer)
Do you own any T-shirts of "The Bands"?

Do you own any clothes from...

...The Gap?
...Old Navy?
...Calvin Klein?
...Tommy Hilfiger? (parodies and knock-offs don't count)
Do you own any bell-bottoms made AFTER the 70's?
Have you ever ragged on someone for wearing clothes that aren't "in"?
Have you ever donned something that was terribly uncomfortable because it was "in"?

The Entertainment

Do you LIKE the Teletubbies
Do you own a stuffed animal of a PBS character? (doesn't count if you got it before you started going to school)
Do you watch soap operas?
Do you watch talk shows?

Have you ever understood and liked...

...A Gap commercial?
...An Old Navy commercial?
...A Calvin Klein commercial?
...A commercial for any "girl" product?

Computers

Check every statement that is true for you.

I have never used a comptuer until now.

I have E-mail...

...but I didn't know how to set it up myself.
...but it's hotmail.
...but I only use it for chain letters.
I know what Purple Moon is...
...and I've never played a non-Purple Moon game...
...or a Purple Moon game either, for that matter...

Miscellaneous

Have you ever told someone not to use "big words"?
...was the "big word" less than three syllables?
Have you come across at least three questions on this test that you didn't understand?
Are you offended immensely by this test?

The Teenybopper Purity Test Check all boxes for which your answer is "yes". The "submit" button is at the bottom.